ou might be a Republican if ... You've named your kids Deduction One and Deduction Two.
#9
What do you call a Republican with a heart? A cardiac surgeon.
#8
You might be a Republican if ... You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
#7
Why did the Republican cross the road? To get to the other bribe.
#6
Why do Republicans love doing laundry? They're naturals at separating the whites from the colors.
#5
Why is the elephant a perfect symbol for Republicans? They never forget, lead each other around by the tail, and think everyone should work for peanuts.
#4
You might be a Republican if ... You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
#3
How do you get Republicans to save the rainforest? Tell them that's where the golf ball trees are!
#2
You might be a Republican if ... You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
#1
What's the difference between a Republican and a toilet? The toilet's only full of crap until you pull the handle.